What kind of weapon would you use if you decided to rob someone? For one idiot, it wasn't a gun!
A robber who held up a bookmakers with his girlfriend's Rampant Rabbit vibrator has been jailed.
Nicki Jex, 27, concealed the sex toy in a carrier bag and pretended it was a gun during the raid on the Ladbrokes shop, in Leicester, on December 27 last year.
A member of staff at the Narborough Road branch handed over more than £600 in cash when he pointed it at her, Leicester Crown Court was told.
Jex, of Braunstone, pleaded guilty to the robbery, which was captured on a CCTV camera inside the shop.
Sentencing him to five years behind bars, Judge Philip Head said: "It's right to record that you did not have a firearm.
"But you pretended you had and intended that those you confronted believed that you did, and it must have been truly terrifying for them at the time."
Tim Palmer, prosecuting, told the court: "The defendant pointed the item in the carrier bag at the cashier. She immediately assumed it to be a firearm.
"In fact, what was contained within the carrier bag was the defendant's girlfriend's vibrator."
The cashier handed over £613 in till contents and other money, the court was told.
But as he made his escape, the shop's only remaining customer, Wayne Vakani, followed him outside and tracked him to a nearby pub.
Thanks to the customer, the defendant's hat, worn in the robbery and containing his DNA, was discovered nearby.
When he was arrested he denied any involvement in the robbery, but changed his plea later.
I have to say, I used to work as a teller. And while we were trained to always be on the lookout for potential robbers and if a robber ever demanded money to just give it to them, if it had turned out that the assclown who robbed me was robbing me using a vibrator as his weapon, I'd be pretty damn embarassed.
And what about the retard who actually chose the vibrator for his best possible weapon? Come on guy, there was nothing better to use in your house? I mean... couldn't you have grabbed something better than a vibrator that your girlfriend uses? I mean, that's slightly disgusting. He seemed to be caught fairly quickly too, so I'm thinking this guy is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
And that, my friends, is your News of the Weird for today.