Do you guys think that by women entering the workforce, that women have had the same effect on the man's role as say welfare has?
I mean, a generation ago, a man wouldn't look down on his woman for not working outside the home. Taking care of the house; cooking, cleaning, caring for the children and basically being the center of the home was what a woman did. It was enough. No one would consider her to be slacking. In this generation, women suffer a vague, and sometimes, explicit, unease about doing that job. She is viewed as not pulling her weight because she's just a housewife.
And it's not just women judging women. Men, too, want their women to work to take the pressure off. A man is simply not interested in carrying all the financial weight and why should he have to? Women are equal now. Equal means doing the same thing--working and living like a man. Feminism means, and it's men that I've seen to be the biggest feminists, being a good man and bring home the bacon, frying it up in a pan and doing it again and again.
But it seems like an unintended consequence has been resentment. Women have excelled in the workplace. They can take care of themselves. They do leave their babies to work. Meanwhile, some men (not all, of course) have gone the other way. They no longer work as hard because they just don't have to. On the one hand, they don't have the financial pressure of their father's generation, but they also don't have the self-respect, work-ethic and noble purpose of their father's generation either.
It seems to me that a man needs to be needed and when that feedback loop is cut either by the government, or even by a working woman, he can (not always) lose his drive and desire to work and succeed.
I've written before about how men need to freakin' MAN UP. My most notable post on this issue was my The Shortage of Real Men post.
It can't be said enough -- if there are any real men left out there, they need to come out of hiding. It's frustrating as hell, even as a woman, to see men becoming more and more pussified each year (yeah, I'm stealing Kim's phrase).
The run-down housewife and over-worked husband myth needs to cease. If a woman wants to work outside the home, then that's great. A real man would encourage her to, if that's what she chose to do. But a real man would also accept her role as housewife if that was what she wanted -- even if it meant taking on extra financial responsibility. A man's job is to provide for and protect his family, and no, it isn't because a woman is incapable of doing so. It's because that is his primary responsibility. It's one of the reasons real men like guns -- because they understand that having a gun is a crucial part of the "protect your family at any cost" mantra encoded into real-man DNA.
As I've said before, I think you see an overwhelming number of real men flocking to military or law enforcement lifestyles. And there's a reason -- the values I listed above are instrinsic to being a real man, and also to succeeding in the military. And, as I've said before, this is a large part of why so many women pine over having a military man for their own. There's a reason women swoon over An Officer and a Gentleman. Being in the military (or law enforcement) means you're signing up for so much more than just a job -- it's a lifestyle, a mindset.
Women, although feminists like to deny it, want and need men who can be a real man. This means they want and need a living, breathing embodiment of values like honor, courage, and integrity. They want someone who will be strong even in the toughest of situations. They need someone they can feel safe and protected with. And you know what? They aren't going to find those things in an emasculated, feminized, sissy-boy who still clings to his mommy's apron and whines about carrying his family's financial burden.
If you're that kind of man, there are only two words you need to hear: MAN UP. Don't whine that you have to pay for every date you take your wife or girlfriend on. Don't bitch that your hair got messed up or your clothes got dirty from doing some manly activity -- or worse, refuse to get involved for those reasons. If your shower and bathroom cabinet is lined and stocked with more haircare and body treatment products than your girlfriend or wife owns, reevaluate your male-ness. Real men have more important things to worry about.
Unfortunately, it seems too many men are willing to let feminists emasculate them. Too many men aren't willing to stand up for themselves, lest they be attacked by the PC Police. Real men have thick skin, and are more worried about doing what's right than what is popular, so who gives a crap what feminists like Amanda Marcotte & Co. have to say? I think all men know, deep down, what their priorities should be, and the values that they need to hold dear. But everything that real men stand for has been under attack for 20+ years, and men have seemingly given up.
Well, I think there's been enough of that. MAN UP, guys. Grow a pair and be willing to express unpopular opinions because you know that they're right. Be strong enough to shoulder extra burden so that your children can get the best possible upbringing they can. Be willing to put your own fears aside if the situation arises where you would need to protect your family no matter what. Don't be afraid to be strong, to be aggressive, to have drive, honor, love of country, courage, and integrity.
This shortage of real men is problematic on multiple levels. It's bad for our sons and it's bad for our country -- and it's bad for our men. And guys, how long are going to sit there and take it?
When are American men finally going to man up?
33 comments:
Cassy,
I think you're forgetting one key point. For the vast majority of couples and families out there, surviving on one income - no matter how much the woman may want to stay home and the man may benefit from the added responsibility - is simply not an option. Thanks (ironically) in large part to women entering the workforce en masse, mortgage and rental values have skyrocketed to account for the increased buying power, and it is now impossible for all but the higher-range single salaries to support a spouse and family. Couple this with a rapidly evolving workplace due to technology changes and the collapse of the "lifetime employer" concept, and only the luckiest or most skilled men will be able to support a family alone - and *then* only by spending so much time away from them that the family may well collapse anyway.
I have no objection to "manning up" and will happily do it as best I can. But simply "working harder" just will not bring home the bacon the way it used to. And worrying about being "attacked by the PC Police" sounds easy to laugh off until you're one of the Duke lacrosse team. We gave up a lot of the implicit authority of that role precisely so women could share it; it sounds awfully like you're demanding men should take back the responsibility of that role without getting back any authority to go with it.
What? The bed's been made and now you don't want to sleep in it? Please try to understand. If guys need to "man up", how is that going to happen, because a woman tells them to? T'aint likely. Y'all wanted abortion on demand(kill the children) the pill (sex means nothing) any job a man does (just tweak the standards a little, okay?) sevice acadamies (uh, coporal Sledge raped me) and pretty much anything and everything else. Ok, you got it. Now you want us to act more like men used to, even if it's a whole new ball game. It ain't that men don't want to BE men anymore, it's just that it doesn't MEAN anything anymore, and we just quit giving a shit. And maybe, just maybe, if women didn't behave and look like whores, drink like a Templar, and talk like a sailor, there might be a point to having respect for them. But this is what women wanted, to be more like men, so welcome to club, and when you dilute the standards and race for the bottom, don't be shocked when you wake up in the gutter. I never stopped being a man, and I never needed some woman to tell me how to do it.You got questions? You don't know what happened? You want things to change for the better? Go look in the mirror. I got things to do, I'm a busy man.
No. No more.
For decades men have be subjected to halfwitted rubbish like this, about sensitivity, sharing emotions, finding G-spots, getting "in touch" with God-only-knows-what...
Now it's "Man Up"?
Try this! Up yours! We're done.
No more junk from amateur psycho-female-pests who imagine they know what
all" men are like and what would "improve us".
You and your ilk are free-range bags of estrogen who have no more understanding of what a 'real man' is, than you understand a fast-breeder nuclear reactor. Your heaving-bosom novella notions of manhood are simplistic, juvenile, generalized and ridiculous, and your qualifications to pass judgements and make suggestions are nonexistent.
You don't like the way I am? Tough! I like me just fine.
You want to do some good? Take your self-improvement stuff and apply it to... yourself!
Go on. "Woman Up".
Let us know when you're perfect.
In the meantime, kindly take your Sunday-supplement generic whining and stuff it.
"it is now impossible for all but the higher-range single salaries to support a spouse and family"
genesiscount, I don't know what makes you think it's impossible. My family does it on only a little over 50K a year. We did it on a little over half that until just a year ago. It's not even difficult, unless you're addicted to high priced goods. It does require a set of skills that most women don't have anymore to run a home economically enough to survive on one income. Granted, we're not incredibly poor. We make a good salary for the area we live in, but we're barely above the median income for the nation. Not impossible, not at all. Here's what it takes:
Lack of materialism. That's all. Seriously.
The kids are wearing clothes from Goodwill. You'd be surprised how well you can dress from those stores. The car isn't fancy, but it runs. The food is cooked from scratch, which saves a fortune and is healthier. Frugality (a word most Americans can barely define, let alone live by) is key. Yeah, it's possible, and my husband is home on time nearly every night to help get the dishes washed and the kids in bed.
The question isn't whether it can be done financially, but whether a man can get a wife who is capable of pocketing her pride and becoming "just a housewife". Or whether a woman can get a husband who is willing to take on that kind of responsibility. Good luck with that. There aren't many of them left.
Being a housewife gets you treated like an idiot in this culture. Being married to a housewife gets you the reputation of a chauvinist pig. It takes an extremely thick skin to do it for both partners. Fortunately for me, my husband is man enough to see his wife as an asset to him, even without bringing in her own paycheck. That goes a long way toward mitigating the social pressure to leave my family and do something more lucrative.
Law enforcement? The military?
Bite me.
I have great respect for our nations protectors, but signing up doesn't make you more of a 'real' man.
I like to cook, Cassy--and I am, in fact, the primary cook in our home.
I do special effects and makeup work. My makeup kit is huge. I did my daughters' makeup for prom.
And I take care of and protect my loved ones.
You say a "real man" will support his wife if she decides to work--and a "real man" will support his wife if she decides to be a housewife, a "real man" will support his wife in whatever choice she makes--because, to be what you consider a "real man", he has to.
It sounds, Cassy, like what being a "real man" means to you is being a pussy when you want it, and being a he-man when you want it. A "real man" does what his woman wants.
According to your post, a 'real woman' doesn't even need the protection and care a "real man" must provide--she can do it herself, without a man,thankyouverymuch, but he should do it because it's his 'responsibility'(when she wants it to be, of course)
Here's some truth for you.
A real man doesn't need some woman to tell him to 'man up'. D'you know why? Because he's already doing it. He's doing the heavy lifting that women--no matter what your subconscious feminist cant tells you--can't do.
And, except in places like this, he doesn't talk about it, bitch about having to do it--or, god help me, swagger about it. He just does it--because it needs doing.
So when his wife or girlfriend takes it into her pretty little head to halve(half?) their income so she can play house he just kisses her and does what he has to do to keep things going(Steve Martin said something in the movie Parenthood that fits--Women have 'choices', men have responsibilities). And what does he get in a whole lot of cases? "You're not doing 'your share' of the housework"--and an early grave.
But a real man keeps going--without so much as a peep.
And here's a sad thing. You'll probably read this and think I'm a 'whiner' and never consider the discomfort writing this has caused me. I like your blog, you write good stuff, and I read you pretty regularly. But I really felt that this hysterical post merited the written equivalent of a slap in the face. And, like all real men, I have a very hard time when it comes to hitting girls.
Oh, one last thing.
Do you know why women swoon over An Officer and a Gentleman, Cassy? Because it's a Harlequin Romance style bodice-ripper masquerading as a military flick.
There is but one authority on this issue, and that is God's Word. In it, the Apostle Paul tells us that men are to sacraficially give of themselves for their wives and their children, just as Christ gave up his own life for the Church:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless."
Ephesians 5:25-27
I'll throw this thought out about why this isn't bloody likely to happen.
Divorce.
If a guy is working 3 jobs to support his family, he'll need 4 or maybe 5 to support them if his wife decides that she doesn't want to remain married to him. Since she didn't have/gave up a career, in addition to the child support he's now on the hook for alimony for a number of year.
Gee, thanks, but no thanks. That's way beyond my pay grade to enjoy such a lifestyle.
Oh. My. Gawd! Your post just made me spit my latte (venti double half-caf, no foam, of course) all over my Gucci man-bag. My Tivo sandals will need cleaning, too, And I am going to send you the bill, Missy!
Goodness, a mere WOMAN telling me to man up! Heavens, the way some of the testosterone laden comments take you to task you'd think it was pretty common for men to do things like offer their seat on the bus to a woman, an elderly person of someone with a bunch of grocery bags (reusable hemp bags, of course!).
Why, just the other day even I got out of myself enough to take my I-pod earpieces out and open a door for a woman and you'd think I had just shoved a McCain pin on over her Obama pin! I haven't been yelled at for exhibiting the oppressive male dominancy like that since college!
I don't know. Maybe out in the guns and god clinging flyover states real men know they are, but here on the free thinking tolerant freedom loving left coast (oh, I still think that is sooo witty), we males just do not want to offend any womyn, transgendered, bi-sex choiced or otherwise "not vile straight men" sorts. The womyn hit real hard - owwww!
Maybe a little encouragement could help, but I didn't say that!
Oh, where is my hand lotion? This typing chaps my hands so!
You don't want a real man. You want a man who will work just as hard as the husbands did in the 1950s but you don't want to be a 1950s woman.
Its only you women who want the freedom to choose whether to become a stay at home wife or a working mother or both. But you don't want men to work any less; you don't want men to have a choice.
When men start doing their own thing you launch into a shaming diatribe about how there are no "real men" around.
Sorry, you wanted equality and you got it. Its good AND bad. Not just the good only. If you want to reject the 1950s woman, you need to accept that men will reject the 1950s man.
We aren't going to serve as your insurance policies and work ourselves to death so you can have options. We are going to get the free sex and live life on OUR terms, not yours. And all the shaming language and lamentations about no "real men" being around are not going to work anymore.
Thank you for showing us all the true face of the "fairer" sex.
Hey!!!! Look at the statistics. Law enforcement personnel have a higher-than-average divorce rate and supposedly part of the reason is due to the odd hours those in that career contend with and too many females refuse to accept...so off she runs to sate her oh-so important wants and desires.
Also, what about males that have used rational thought and logical thinking to determine that there is NO benefit to marriage, to having kids and that adorable house with the cute little white picket fence surrounding it?
I have stayed single for my 34 years of ADULT life. Over that period I have had so many males express their regret for not following the path I chose.
Being an honorable man, a law-abiding moralistic man, I never ever told a female (other than Mom) that I loved her.
Sure, I liked a few and lusted after even more but love? Nope. So I didn't use the term.
Sure, I bedded my share of females but ensured no unwanted "prize packages" were left behind that could entwine me into a female's life for 18 or more years.
In my opinion, the actions and inactions of too many females brought many of their self-proclaimed problems upon themselves.
Other than a brief moment of sexual gratification females had nothing of worth to offer me.
What a horrible trade-off!!!! A few minutes of transient pleasure per month and I am expected to provide a life-time of servitude?
Bwa hah hah hah hah!!!!!!
Females ain't worth it.
In fact, what with the dangers posed by too many females spewing false accusations against males, a smart man would do all he could to keep females as far away, physically and psychologically, as possible.
Sorry gals... as for me, you are on your own.
You should revel in that!! A male who poses absolutely NO threat to you in any way. I try to not even look at femles lest a self-determined interpretation of even an unintended glance causes an addle-minded emotion-laden female to cry out in despair that some evil man is staring at her and she FEELS "uncomfortable" and, of course, law enforcement MUST be called in to save yet another female from the ravishes of America's horrid male populatiion.
Females... just ain't worth the headaches and the threat to a male's life.
I'm just another male on the defensive. Doing all I can to keep females as far away as possible and doing all I can to prevent a false accusation leveled at me for who knows what reason?
Do a Web search and seek the public statements by prosecutors and district attorneys that between 40 and 60 percent of accusations by females against males for various crimes turn out to be false, lies, intended to harm a male the female wants revenge against, often for trivial reasons.
What sane normal logical-thinking male would take the chance to become involved with a female in even the slightest way? Especially with the reward(s) for doing so so very minimal?
In the meantime, for females insistent upon companionship. May I suggest a warm furry cat fron your local shelter? Those critters will put up with all the daffyness oozing out of too many of today's females.
With regard to what the guys are saying, I also wanted to add that the Book of Ephesians discusses marital roles of both men and women. Earlier, I posted on a man's role (Eph 5:25-27). However, its also important to keep in mind the biblical role of women in a marriage:
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything." Eph 5:22-24.
If we returned to a biblical understanding of marriage, this would be a non-issue.
Just my $.02.
Man up? What does that mean? Be your slave and support you ungrateful, selfish women so you have more choices in life while we men keep losing more and more of our choices in life? As is typical of you women, the purpose of your request is to increase your choices in life while sacrificing our choices in life. And this is from the same women who keep telling us men they need us like fish need bicycles and that as women, you are strong and independent. Couldn't you women just be strong and independent without us men being required to provide that strength? Can't you be independent without us?
These days, the more us men "man up", based on your definition of what "man up" means, the more we men get screwed and the more is expected of us for no increased benefit to us. I'm sure that the reason you women find it harder and harder to find the type of male suckers you're looking for is because smart men (the ones who make the higher amounts of money) have come to the conclusion that you women are just too dangerous to marry and are just no longer willing to play the marriage/divorce game by the current rules. The smarter ones are either swearing off marriage or looking to foreign women for marriage. In fact, so many men are now looking overseas for their women, Congress passed a law three years ago, at you feminists' insistence, making it more expensive, more cumbersome, and even more dangerous for us men to even start a conversation with a foreign woman.
If we changed the rules of marriage/divorce so that if our marriage doesn't work out and we get divorced, we men automatically get full custody of the children and you women get the alimony and child support bills in exchange for visitation rights every other weekend, would you women agree to it? Not to mention that if you fall behind on your payments because of being fired or being called to fight in Iraq, you will be thrown in jail when caught or return from Iraq and your child support obligations will continue to accrue at the same rates plus interest while in jail. Sound like something you'd like to sign up for right now?
If we changed the rules of marriage/divorce so that if we are divorcing and because we men are very angry with you women and want to get even, or just to get you out of our everyday life so we can more easily enjoy our relationship with our new woman, we can claim abuse with no evidence required and you will be prohibited from seeing your children forever and we automatically get the house, car, children, alimony, and child support regardless of whether or not you see your children ever again, would you agree to it?
If we changed the rules of marriage/divorce so that you women were expected to work to support us men and our children while we take care of the housework but if it doesn't work out, it's your responsibility to keep us financially supported at the level of life that we have become accustomed before the divorce, would you agree to that?
If we changed the rules of marriage/divorce so that you were expected to support us men and our children while we men took care of the home and we men and the media constantly complained and whined that you women weren't doing enough to help us men at home while showing absolutely no appreciation for the financial support you women were providing and the sacrifices you women were making in earning that support money at the expense of you not seeing your children as often as you'd like, would you say, "Wow, that sounds like a great deal! Where do I sign up for that?"
Suppose we changed the rules so that you women live 6-7 fewer years than us men while we men mostly support men-only health causes like prostate cancer while almost completely ignoring predominantly women-only health issues like breast cancer, so we men can live even longer compared to you women, would you say, "Wow! I'd love to work harder and support men in exchange for that deal!"
I think your biggest problem is that you women are now looking for smart men by offering them only a deal someone really stupid or unintelligent would go for.
Duh!
Having read both this posting and Dr. Melissas's, I have no clue what either of you are talking about. You rant about how a man should be this or that and then complain when they protest. It's nothing more than a continuation of the same feminist bullshit that's plagued society for years--you want all the advantages and none of the responsibility.
News flash; our divorce system completely and totally favors women. Men have started to defend THEIR rights and now you complain that they are "acting" the victim.
Shame on you.
I'm glad I came across the post after the day I had at work. The best part is how women are now equal and treated that way, yeah f**king right.
If a woman is even mildly attractive and flirtatious she can get away with
murder on a job, even a Law Enforcement job where the behavior of the Officers affects lives, but we men are supposed to fix ourselves once again to make your lives easier
shake your t**ts and see how easy you got it.
Cassy and Dr Melissa may have posted a few caricatures by whats-his-name, but I think you guys are missing the point.
You whine and complain about how the divorce system screws you over. Here's a thought fellas...MARRY SMART! Find a woman of good moral character who has her priorities in order, works hard, and is free of any leech-like tendencies. Then work hard at the marriage!
What a bunch of sad, pathetic little boys you guys are. You're willing to throw away all the sweetness and completion that a loving female companion provides...in exchange for easy sex with loose girls and more time to enjoy your stupid hobbies.
You complain about double-standards, but I don't see you doing anything about them - other than running away from the problem. You guys remind me of a buddy of mine who got screwed in a divorce settlement and is now bitter toward women. Just like you! I'll bet you did the same thing he did - married right out of high school, for completely wrong reasons, to a trashy girl. Am I right?
I'm ashamed to observe that I share the same biology as you slobs. F---ing whiners.
"You whine and complain about how the divorce system screws you over. Here's a thought fellas...MARRY SMART!"
Why take ANY risk when I can take NO risk? Hm?
"What a bunch of sad, pathetic little boys you guys are."
Typical feminist "argumental" tactic. Dispense with logic (which is beyond their grasp) and instead resort to ad hominem attacks.
"You're willing to throw away all the sweetness and completion that a loving female companion provides"
"...in exchange for easy sex with loose girls and more time to enjoy your stupid hobbies."
Hm, they don't seem stupid to me, and thats the one person's opinion that really matters in how I spend my free time, isn't it?
"You complain about double-standards, but I don't see you doing anything about them - other than running away from the problem."
But we are doing something - withdrawing from toxic relationships with psychotic women and enjoying our "stupid hobbies". Remember?
"You guys remind me of a buddy of mine who got screwed in a divorce settlement and is now bitter toward women. Just like you!"
More ad hominems. Also, a man isn't "bitter" if he hasn't been burned by divorce, but instead has the foresight to avoid the bad deal of modern marriage altogether.
"I'll bet you did the same thing he did - married right out of high school, for completely wrong reasons, to a trashy girl. Am I right?"
Nope, you're dead wrong, just like everything else in your silly emotional outburst.
I'm ashamed to observe that I share the same biology as you slobs. F---ing whiners.
Cassy,
Thank you for telling me to "Man Up" - I will now promptly disregard your advise seeing how you have not "Woman'd Up" and are stuck in a "me me me" mentality.
To illustrate that point, you have "Make me smile, visit my wish list!" right below a picture of you in a bikini. I can only assume that random people on the internet buying you material goods makes you happy. In addition, due to your physique and face, you may pull a bait and switch, in which you'll look nice for a while, and then balloon out for some odd reason like a majority of Americans.
Practice what you preach hypocrite. Explain why you should be deserving of a "Real Man" before you tell me to be one.
What a wonderful post. It makes a very good point. Men need to MAN UP because this girl says so. I know that by letting some girl define my masculinity, I will be embodying the values of honour, courage and integrity.
I love this post because it speaks of men like a broken household appliance. Replace the word 'man' with 'vaccum cleaner' and it makes a lot more sense. After all, you never once suggest a reason for men to MAN UP which is actually in the interest of MEN. They can't possibly have their own dreams or values, right?
As posters have said below, the entire reason there are no more real men is A) the values of masculinity are SPAT upon in this culture, and B) most guys are just trying to appease the demands of the women to be NICE and provide for them.
Funnily enough, Cassy, I entirely agree with you that men need to MAN UP, but not for the reason implicit in your post. I think you'd be in for a shock if you ever did meet a "real man", because the main trait of a real man is that he doesn't base his being around what some girl wants. He pursues his own dreams and desires. He "goes his own way", if you will.
What you want is a man of weak imagination and high testosterone - hence your hilarious praising of the 'miltary man', at the base level of 'liking guns'. While testosterone and military service have their value, you don't fully grasp the value of either and the kind of REAL MAN you talk of could easily be found in prison (especially with the terrible false rape accusations, divorce and alimony laws in this country. In fact, if you want a real man prison should be your first port of call).
The surest way to get a real man in your life is to drop this poisonous entitlement complex and emphasise your femininity.
It is amusing to see how many Women are posting similar articles. Whose Narcissism fails to recognize that Feminism's promises of having it all are lies. That thanks to the egregious treatment of Men in Family Courts. And first Marriages referred to as Starter Marriages. That Manly Men are weighing their options.
They include Marriage Avoidance, Marriage Strike, and Marry Foreign. Last year one in five US Marriages was between an American Man and a Foreign Woman. The reason? Avoiding the Financial Ass raping of Family Courts.
Women complain and yet they do nothing to defund the Divorce Industrial complex. Which Feminists and the Feminist Bar Association demanded No Fault Divorce.
Dr. Stephen Baskerville talks about the Criminalization of Fatherhood in his book "Taken Into Custody" and how Men are treated in the US. The Marriage Strike is an ethical response to it by Men. Become part of the solution instead of the problem.
"You whine and complain about how the divorce system screws you over. Here's a thought fellas...MARRY SMART! Find a woman of good moral character who has her priorities in order, works hard, and is free of any leech-like tendencies. Then work hard at the marriage!"
This presupposes that the woman will stay the same after the marriage. That's a lot of faith to have in a person who on average changes her hair color a dozen times in the span of a year or two.
"What a bunch of sad, pathetic little boys you guys are."
Ad hominem attacks only reinforce the idea that your arguments have no merit b/c if they could stand alone you wouldn't need to resort to such shaming tactics.
"You're willing to throw away all the sweetness and completion that a loving female companion provides...in exchange for easy sex with loose girls and more time to enjoy your stupid hobbies."
We're not throwing anything away. We're thinking strategically and have concluded that easy sex with no attachments are the best option for a man in today's divorce happy world loaded with women with unreasonable expectations who resort to unilateral shaming of men when they don't get what they want.
"You complain about double-standards, but I don't see you doing anything about them - other than running away from the problem."
Actually we are doing something about the double standards by refusing to play the game unless its with our rules.
"You guys remind me of a buddy of mine who got screwed in a divorce settlement and is now bitter toward women. Just like you! I'll bet you did the same thing he did - married right out of high school, for completely wrong reasons, to a trashy girl. Am I right?"
The bitter argument surprises me when its in response to a female who took the time to complain that no real men exist and vented on her blog about all the girly men out there.
"I'm ashamed to observe that I share the same biology as you slobs. F---ing whiners."
I'm ashamed to observe that you have no strategic mind whatsoever.
Using a cost-benefit analysis-type thing...
Cost(s) of having a female in my life in whatever form it is versus the benefit(s)...
However I approach the issue the costs FAR outweigh the benefits so I will continue to shun females and keep suggesting to other men that the times have changed and to think very very long and very very hard before allowing a female to enter your life in even the most marginal manner.
For a 40 year old male I would suggest thinking hard for 40 years or so before making the plunge.
Face it, girlies, even the few decent gals are going to pay the price for the large number of vile self-centered ignorant broads infesting your ranks.
I believe the vast majority of females are beyond redemption and for the male's safety MUST be shunned, kept away as far as possible.
Go grab a cat little girlies.... too many of you are incapable of an adult relationship that requires logical thinking and emotional maturity.
Of course, there are always guys entering the USA illegally who would love to marry you. And with many of them the holders of a culture wherein females are basically property and the female WILL obey... well, that might be good for you gals.
And, illegals can hop right across the border so your ability to use the powerful anti-male systems at your disposal won't work with those guys!!!!
So, little girls.. so simple-minded... as decent males abandon you as mostly to fully worthless I see a couple options... adopt a kitty cat. Do at least one useful thing in your self-centered emotion-laden life... save a kitty from death at your local critter shelter.
Or, what with mega-MILLIONS of illegal alien men flooding the country grab one of those guys.
There's always the lesbo thing if you absolutely have to have a warm body alongside. I won't judge you. I am too busy ignoring you, even trying to not even glance in your direction... that is how much of a threat I view today's typical female.
Now, go croak your anger to Oprah or "Dr" Phil. Those blobs are getting rich from female ignorance.
If you are in the studio audience of those or other PC droids ensure you scream your head off at the appropriate times.... akin to addle-minded little girls seeing the worm... scream your fool heads off to show the world your immaturity.
Just stay away from me. Far far away.
"You're willing to throw away all the sweetness and completion that a loving female companion provides..."
Such sweetness has been thrown away, all right, but it was done by the women themselves long ago.
Wow. A lot of guys attack the author of this article for being hypocritical, wanting all the benefits of feminism plus all the benefits of traditional roles. But ... who says she's a feminist? I've only read a few of her posts, so maybe I'm missing something, but from what I've read she doesn't sound like an extreme feminist at all. It's rather unfair to say that you hold her responsible for everything ever said by anyone who happens to have two X chromosomes just because she does too. That would be like blaming all males for the actions of a few rapists.
I can certainly understand the bitterness of men who have been screwed over in a divorce. My wife left me 11 years ago and I'm plenty bitter about it. I'm still paying child support even though she moved to another state and I rarely see my children any more. I'm plenty unhappy about it. But I don't blame all women for the actions of some. Even if that "some" are a majority -- and frankly I have no idea what the percentages are -- surely we should be trying to encourage the women who are sane and reasonable.
I would think men should be overjoyed when a woman says that she thinks that the way modern American women are going has proven to be bad news for both men and women.
I'm a little taken aback at this article. It seems a bit immature, or perhaps a better definition would be ill-informed. Your age is showing.
Life brings experience. The longer your life, the more experience you have to fall back on. When you're 25, you may not truly understand all that you think you do.
I will admit that I did not read all 24 comments completely, but I believe I have a fair understanding of most of them.
I would challenge you to consider what has happened to people in the past 50 years. (Man AND woman)
At the age of 43, it never ceases to amaze me to hear women swear like sailors. When I was younger, I rarely heard a woman swear. Oh, an occasional damn, or shit, but NEVER heard them drop an F-bomb, or the dreaded C-word. Today, I hear it all the time. I won't go into the "sluttiness" that has become so commonplace in today's world. So I ask, when will the women "Woman Up"?
In 24 years of marriage, I cannot recall my wife EVER dropping the F-bomb. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've heard her curse, and that was usually when she was very angry about something. She's very much a lady, and I'm very much a man.
We both share duties around the house, but I do the "man" stuff. I am the bug slayer, the car mechanic and the bump in the night checker-outer. She is "mom", and darn good at it. She is the planner and the organizer. We make a great team, but I digress.
So what's the difference? Why was my wife able to find a "man"? I say one possibility is that because she is a lady.
Oh lordy. Quit whining.
Men are here already. We are everywhere. Except from what you'll see on your little TV, we permeate throughout this society.
I don't have the time nor the desire to read through this little blog of yours, but I got 'the page' through a a men's forum. Thought I'd stop by and give you a little insight. Stop bashing on the men - it's likely most of us develop a headache by the first few sentences into your first paragraph. You know what us men would like? How about you 'women' tackle on the feminist agenda some day? This 'empowered women' mindset has led to a lot of miserable women, men, and families. How about *YOU* develop the intestinal fortitude to take down all the BS that these 'womyn' shovel down society's throat through the MSM, through the marketing, through all these efforts that demean women who want to be housewives (and not full-time employees!)
I'm so sick of females trying to tell men to 'man up.' Put yourself in our shoes - If this is a battle we have to fight every single day - don't you think it gets very boring/tiring quickly?
Hi Cylar,
>You whine and complain about how the divorce system screws you over. Here's a thought fellas...MARRY SMART! Find a woman of good moral character who has her priorities in order, works hard, and is free of any leech-like tendencies. Then work hard at the marriage!
It almost doesn't matter what a woman is while we are dating her. Even Dr. Phil has stated that the woman we divorce is not the same woman we married. Our divorce system is so corrupt in favor of women, women are encouraged to divorce by the rules currently in effect. It's women now who file 2/3's of all divorces as a result. Of course with your mindset, you probably blame us men even when it's women who are filing most of the divorces. Why should only men be punished and women rewarded when a marriage doesn't work out? Is the bottom line that women can just not handle that level of responsibility?
The more children women have with more men, the more easy money they get in total, each "child support" assessment of each man based on each man's income rather than the child support costs. And even marrying a new man doesn't decrease the amount of money she receives from the previous man. What a deal! If a woman likes having children and doesn't want to work outside the home, and enjoys having successive relationships with different men after a certain number of years, this is a dream come true.
What percentage of women can refuse a deal like this when tough times arrive in a marriage and they figure it's easier to run away into the arms of a new man rather than stick it out and fix them? Even a perceived "good" woman.
And by the way, if a lie detector done by an expert is only about 93% accurate, how could anyone expect us mere mortal men to consistently see through women's politically correct lies when trying to snag us with them during dating?
Dear Real Man,
When I find you, I will know it. You will embody the values of honor, courage and integrity, and what's more, you will insist I do the same. You will treat me with chivalry and dignity, out of your kind heart, and in response to the respect and dignity I offer to you.
We will work as a team to determine how chidren, if any, are to be raised, and to find a working arrangement that is fulfilling to both of us. If we determine that you are to be the exclusive breadwinner, I will support you, and gladly take charge of the cooking, shopping, and other such duties. If you do not wish (or are not able) to shoulder the financial responsibilities alone, I have a college education and marketable skills, too. We can share the responsibility. We can share the rewards.
We can share everything. We can share our feelings, even. I would never belittle you for having emotions, and I know you would offer me the same empathy. You, Real Man, have real needs, dreams, fears and feelings. You are a real person.
I know you will always respect my wishes and desires, to make feel happy and fulfilled, and I will do my best to please you in all areas of life as well.
I know you would only ever be gentle with me and consider my needs, so I will try my best to satisfy you in our physical relationship, without judgement, without vauge excuses, and without you having to beg or bribe. Real Man, I trust you will never deny my need for emotional intimacy as well as physical closeness.
I will do my best to keep the lines of communication between us open, and foster an environment of sharing, honesty, trust and mutual respect.
I know you will protect me, because you know things I do not, and you are physically bigger and stronger than I am. I also will offer you protection in the ways I am able. I will share with you my knowledge, which is of course different from yours, and provide you with a place of emotional safety. Neither of us will ever have reason to question the other's love or loyalty.
So, my Real Man, are you out there somewhere? I'm working hard to become a Real Woman, just for you. I know would would accept nothing less, and that is just one more reason to love you.
Yours, harpsdesire
"So, my Real Man, are you out there somewhere? I'm working hard to become a Real Woman, just for you. I know would would accept nothing less, and that is just one more reason to love you."
Nope. Go away. Nice words but females are too dangerous.
Too many emotion-laden self-centered trollops have ruined things for all females.
I am convinced the female brain and psyche is corrosive.
It is possible that our culture with its isolated familial units, with or without kids, is an unnatural life style.
For a lengthy period humans were tribal, living in small groups.
Maybe male/female are not "designed" or "hard-wired" to live together in one small unit.
Maybe females need to have other females to be close to during the work day when the females of old were gathering roots and nuts and tending the young while males were out hunting, fishing, crafting weapons etc.
Then, when the tribe gathered later in the day the genders still kept apart as other in-camp tasks were done, tales shared as different hunting groups told of their day.
Maybe the male/female bond mainly occurred during dark when some snuggling went on before sleep took hold.
As humans advanced the various tasks took even more time. Look at those pioneers in their sod shantys working dawn to dusk.
Today, it seems the is more leisure time so males/females are shoved together without others or tribe members to keep the duo from having to spend so much time together.
I don't know... just trying to guess why there is so much hostility between the genders.
Whatever the reason... to me, logic and rationality and cold hard facts tell me to shun females, keep those daffy creatures away. No mingling. Never allow them into my abode and do not enter their hovel.
Try to not even glance in a female's direction since her tender delicate psyche could interpret even the briefest glance into harassment within her feeble mind and the next thing I see is a couple police dragging me to jail due to one female's crazed interpretation of a momentary accidental "eye lock" as some sort of harassment or threat with the female FEELING threatend.
No thank you.
A smart man does everything possible to prevent any and all interactions with females.
And does so out of a sense of self-preservation.
Remember, girlies, cute little kitties are available if you are unable to find a male crazed enough to take a chance interacting with today's typical daffy dame.
Hello there.
I am a Men's Rights Activist. I and my brothers are attempting to raise awareness of the damage that feminism has wrought on our country and our culture.
I wanted to respond your point about the single breadwinner:
That was economically possible because during the 40's and 50's we had a fiscal tax policy that favored married couples and single bread winning families. But when those tax benefits were repealed, it became much more difficult to survive on one income.
In addition, as another commenter pointed out, the majority of people, male and female alike, worked for a living. Indeed, the entire "housewife" ideal really got its start during the Victorian age, and was something most couldn't hope to aspire too until the economic golden age of the post World War II era.
So, to expect men to be the sole breadwinner at all times is unrealistic, and unhistorical.
Another reason why, as another commenter touched on, is that prices for food, rent, etc have inflated dramatically, while wages have remained basically stagnant for the vast majority of people.
This is because we have a fiat paper currency that is intrinsically worthless and backed by nothing at all.
So, the tax laws, and monetary policy would have to be changed before the one income household could make a serious comeback.
Also,
I understand what you are trying to say. Women today are starved for authentic manliness. But, women have betrayed men at every turn.
From divorce laws, to child custody, to the hysteria about "domestic violence" and "rape,"
women have proven to be the natural enemy of man. She is his most dangerous adversary. She has tremendous power, but no responsibilities. Men have the lion's share of responsibilities, but none of the rights and privileges that come with those responsibilities.
And so, until this culture changes its anti-male attitudes, anti family economic systems, anti breadwinner tax code, and anti male/pro divorce/pro woman legal code, there is absolutely NO reason for any man to marry, or to "Man Up."
It's in every man's best interest to live and let live. Women are independent now... they demanded their rights, and so they are perfectly able to take care of themselves without our assistance.
Thanks for your efforts, but they are ultimately shortsighted and misguided.
If you want to know more about finance, economics, and men's rights issues, I encourage you to stop by my blog.
Have a good day!
Tokugakure.
"Nope. Go away. Nice words but females are too dangerous.
Too many emotion-laden self-centered trollops have ruined things for all females.
I am convinced the female brain and psyche is corrosive."
Dangerous? Oh yeah. But it's not women who are dangerous-- it's people.
Yes, females are emotional. But so are men. From you personally, I detect feelings of pain, bitterness and fear. (You may feel free to deny this hotly, of course.)
Some woman (or many women) probably broke your heart, and if that is so, I am sorry.
I know how hard it is to enter into a relationship with the opposite sex when you have been burned before.
I personally had my first experiences of love at the hands of a man who emotionally abused and sexually molested me despite my protests and tears. Through manipulation and fear he kept me silent.
So, does this mean all men are evil, abusive, manipulative?
Of course not. In fact, I would venture to guess that you yourself are intelligent, couragous and determined. I'm sure you have other excellent traits as well.
There are woman who share your traits and values, who are stoic, honest and strong, and who desire a male companion who also embodies these values. (Of course, there are others who are just as you appearently imaginge all women to be.)
It is not the female brain that is corrosive, nor the male.
Hate is corrosive.
"There are woman who share your traits and values, who are stoic, honest and strong, and who desire a male companion who also embodies these values. "
Yes, I am sure there are...just not in the USA, Canada, UK, nor in fact anywhere in Western Un-civilization. It's far better to go to the Philipines, South America, or the Russian Federation. You note I say that it's better; not guaranteed of domestic bliss.
For the record, not all of these women are cringing, servile people who are trying to escape the bad circumstances of their lives, like popular myth likes to state. I have yet to meet a woman from the Philipines, or from a country in south America who has not been intelligent, engaging, witty, charming, beautiful...and feminine.
Compare and contrast this with burgeoning numbers of YouTube, Facebook, and MySpace memberships that depict women binge-drinking, cursing like longshoremen, and beating each other senseless...not one from any of the countries just mentioned.
In our civilization, arrogance is synonymous with intelligence, binging with being engaging, spouting hate speech directed against men and boys as witty, and slutty with beautiful.
Also, there have been lots and lots of blogs, media articles, and even books bemoaning the lack of "real men" by women. Kay Hymowitz, Alice "Whack-Job" Walker, and Debbie Maken come readily to mind. Yet, what these whiny harridans fail to see is that this type of man never went away, nor even diminished in number from days past; they simply have re-aligned their hearts and minds along the lines of being men for themselves first, and not defining their maculinity by whatever a woman wants him to be.
Women who proclaim what it is to "be a man" is perhaps the most arrogant thing she can do. Not one woman has any clue what a real man is, nor has the right to define it for us.
You wanted the freedom to act as you please just as any man. Yet, when you act like you perceive men as acting, you never act like good men; the very best and most successful of you act like the very worst of us. And, just as a good man will not associate with a low-life, so too will we never sink so low as to associate with you.
Your bed has been made for over four decades. Turn-down service is here, and you may now lay upon it to your collective hearts' content.
We real men will find another place to sleep. It's not hatred...it's indifference.
"Men are nutless wimps! They need to Man Up!! Yap, yap, yap! Blah, blah!"
http://kstp.com/article/stories/S437400.shtml?cat=1
Roseville gas station employee fired for attacking robber
A local gas station employee is out of a job after he thought he was helping save someone’s life.
Mark Beverly was one of two employees inside a Roseville Super America when a robber came into the store on March 26.
Beverly was cleaning the bathroom when he heard the store clerk cry out. He came out to find a robber attacking the female employee.
“I just jumped on his back and trying to hit his head and pushed him over the counter. I jumped back over and he was out of there,” he said.
Later that day, Beverly returned to work only to be punished for his actions.
There's the oblivious, entitled fantasy of what's reality in present-day America, and then there's the reality that men actually have to live in.
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