Students forced to choose between gym memberships and birth control -- say it ain't so!!

Well, it looks like the world is coming to an end! Students are protesting because costs of birth control are going up, forcing them to make unthinkable choices!

University of New Mexico students are worried the federal deficit is going to cause a boom in unwanted pregnancies.

UNM is now feeling the affects of the Deficit Reduction Act passed in 2005 whose funding cuts reduce money used by universities to subsidize birth control.

The price of birth control on campuses and family planning clinics has more than doubled. Today students at UNM encouraged their peers to call and ask lawmakers to cosponsor a bill that would return the funding for birth control.

"Birth control is probably the largest preventative measure of abortion and unwanted pregnancies, just because it's safe, it's affordable," UNM Molly Maguire-Marshall said. "Sometimes it's accessible, and we want to keep it that way.

"We want to keep it affordable; we want to keep it accessible to college students."

Restoring the funds will reduce the squeeze on cash-strapped students, added Ambrosia Ortiz.

"So they don't have to make a choice between their birth control and their cell phone bill or their birth control and their gym membership and their birth control," Ortiz said. "These are choices women that women shouldn't have to make. Birth control should be very affordable."

Well, by golly, what are these students going to do?! Without access to birth control, apparently pregnancies are going to skyrocket, because not having sex is, of course, simply not an option. This is possibly because these poor kids probably went to public schools and were never told anything about abstinence. They were probably handed condoms and told all about birth control, right before telling them that as long as they use these, they can have all the sex they want with no repercussions!

And look at the choices they have to make! Birth control or a cell phone, birth control or a gym membership... jeez, their entire life is practically hanging in the balance! I mean, imagine having to give up working out at the exclusive gyms where all the "cool" kids work out, and use the free gym available for students at the school! And no access to a cell phone -- however will they get by?! Man, it's a good thing these kids didn't grow up in the Dark Ages before there were fashionable, exclusive gyms and cell phones for everyone.

And of course, these kids are whining because they want the government to pay for their birth control. They have all the access to birth control they could possibly want, but the government isn't going to pay for it for them, an unspeakable travesty, of course. The fact that they live in the freest country in the world, where they are allowed to get a higher education and protest without any kind of repercussions (besides looking like idiots) apparently has escaped them, because choice is being taken away from them!!

Again, the decision to choose not to have sex because they don't have access to birth control is apparently too responsible a decision to ask them to make. No, they need to be able to have sex as freely as they choose, and therefore, it's the government's job to keep them from having babies by providing them with free access to birth control. Otherwise, you're infringing on "women's rights". Yay for feminism!

Most of these kids will probably grow up and look back with a twinge of guilt for acting like complete idiots. Most of them are probably protesting just for the sake of feeling important, just like the Columbia idiots. But a select few of them will probably learn nothing at all, and grow up to be the same spoiled, arrogant, self-absorbed morons they are now. Only then, they'll teaching at colleges instead, or perhaps working for those ever-vigilant keepers of women's rights over at NOW.