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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

My Endorsement for the President of the United States

Now that my eyes have been opened, thanks to the callous treatment of my emotions and my body by John Hawkins, I've been carefully thinking about who I want to endorse for President. It couldn't possibly be some warmonger Republican like John McCain, who just loves to bask in his own masculinity.

No... I think the best person for President is Hillary Clinton. She's had so much experience! And you know, she really understands women's issues, the most important thing to me now. I know that with Hillary in the White House, I'll be free to fornicate to my heart's desire without ever having to worry about dealing with the repercussions, thanks to the wonder of abortion.

Not only do I want Hillary to be the next President, I want her to be my next partner. As I've decided to be a lesbian now, I think that Hillary is just the perfect women. The smooth, baritone flow of her voice, her perfectly coifed hair, the way her pantsuits flow just right over her round bum... who wouldn't want Hillary? I know I do. She just oozes sensuality. And when she laughs, that gentle, beautiful laugh, I can feel the sun come out.

So, I am now officially endorsing Hillary Clinton for the next President of the United States. Hopefully, one day I can stand by her side as First Lady, instead of that horndog Bill.


We'll be together one day, my lovely little political pudding.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel squeemish at the thought of anyone, man or woman, being intimate with HRC. Ugh.

HamBone said...

...and I thought that those cute cheeks were just cute cheeks. Little did I know that they were the "tongue-in" kind! What the H... are you smoking today???

William Teach said...

Aaaaack! Pink pants suit! I'm blind!

Me said...

That's one Hell of a 4/1 joke. Ugh! The mental images are killing me!

Anonymous said...

OK, I come by to visit..and the THREE posts I see...

1) Apologies to the Breck Girl's webmistress..

B) You switching (teams) because of blogging favors/punani.

3) You wanting to play for your new (team) and become first lady/cupcake.
I KNOW it's April fools...but WHOA!!!!!!!
I'll come back another day....

Knightbrigade

The Northern Virginia Conservative said...

Good gravy, that's a terrifying entry, April Fool's or no.