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Wednesday, August 8, 2007

"Performance enhanced" Barry Bonds breaks home run record

Wow. This is so exciting.

(Yawn.)

Everyone is just SO excited about how Barry Bonds broke the all-time home run record last night with his 756th home run.

Because, you know, it's SUCH an accomplishment to break the all-time home run record, once held and achieved based on pure talent by Hank Aaron, by using steroids "performance enhancers" until his biceps were so huge that redwood tree trunks were jealous of their size. He claims he never used steroids ("performance enhancers", people, come on!), but his trainer was indicted and charged by a federal grand jury of supplying his players with anabolic steroids, and escaped prosecution by striking a plea bargain which shockingly allowed him to not name the players under the influence of the steroids. He's currently in the middle of an investigation for perjury after he testified that his trainer gave him a balm and a clear substance that he claimed was flaxseed oil and arthritis balm. Prosecutors, however, maintain that this was actually "the cream" and "the clear", both forms of the popular steroid THG.

Hank Aaron got that record based on pure talent. Barry Bonds, in my opinion, didn't. The baseball greats of today are not the same as the true baseball greats of yesterday. There's a vast difference between the two, and to me, all Barry Bonds did was taint the all-time home run record. It isn't baseball glory to hit home run after home run because you are all pumped up on steroids "performance enhancers", when baseball greats of the past like Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth did it on talent alone. Barry Bonds doesn't compare to those men.

Hank Aaron, by the way, did not attend the game where Bonds broke his record.

So, cheer away because a performance enhanced egomaniac created a new record. Maybe one day, a new Hank Aaron will come along, and blow Bonds' record away based on talent alone. We all know it's possible. When that happens, that person will know they won that record with some legitimacy.

4 comments:

Huck said...

How do you know for certain that Barry Bonds used performance enhancing drugs? And how do you know for certain that Hank Aaron didn't? No matter what you think of Barry Bonds, steroids or no, hitting 756 home runs in a career is no small accomplishment.

I have to admit to being a bit surprised, though, that you are such the baseball fan. I never would have expected it.

Angry White Guy said...

He's admitted to it.

And I'm fairly certain that anabolic steroids weren't so available as they are today.

Kyle said...

What I found funniest about the week's news concerning Bonds breaking the record is when the media got all up in arms because President Bush didn't call to congratulate him! Heh.

But on the flip side, at least he had Madam Pelousy on hand to proclaim his "rightful place among sports' immortals."

Angry White Guy said...

Of cource she did.

Dems have a special place in their hearts for liars and cheaters...

Hell, look at Bill Clinton.