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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Dating Rules for Women

Dr. Melissa Clouthier today gives us eleven dating rules for women:
Women claim to want equal rights but then do things in the dating dance that makes them look like immature children. It's annoying. A couple friends, male and female, are experimenting with on-line dating, and based on their experiences all I can think is, what is wrong with people?


This post is not going to be an "ain't it awful" post for women, though. Quite the contrary. For the sake of this post, I'm making an assumption that the vast majority of men are good men, just trying to find a woman they connect with and desiring a relationship. I think this assumption is true, by the way. There are players and male sluts, sure, but I think most guys want what most women want--a close, loving, compatible, dependable relationship.

If a woman is going to participate in the dating game, she needs to follow some rules.

Here are a few of her rules:
  • Say "no" nicely.
  • Mean what you say.
  • Don't have sex on the first, second or third date.
  • Get a life.
  • Leave the baggage for later.
  • Express gratitude.

    Here is my favorite part of the article:
    Men might be from Mars, but they're still humans. All the male-bashing that goes on is offensive. One of my least favorite commercials features a guy ordering a pizza which will come in 30 minutes. He asks his wife for sex and she bats her eyes and asks, "What are we going to do for the other 28 minutes?" It's meant to be funny, but it just seems like more of the same disparaging of men.

    Men aren't the enemy. They are lovely creatures. Sometimes strange and exotic, but always interesting. They deserve respect until they've proven themselves to be unworthy of respect and even then, treating any person with respect and kindness is a winning proposition. Because ultimately, it's you who you have to live with whether you end up with a man or not.

    It seems to be en vogue for women to have a monumental chip on their shoulder when it comes to men. Don't. Yes, some men are assholes. But some women are bitches, too -- men do not have a monopoly on being mean, or cruel, or misleading. So many women go into dates and relationships with their guards up, with preconceived notions of what men are, what men want, and how men will treat women. If women can't get that chip off their shoulder, they'll never have a truly happy, successful, long-term, fulfilling relationship.

    In any case, make sure to read Melissa's post to get all of the rules in more detail. It's a great read, and some solid, sensible advice for women -- the kind of advice we could hear more of.

    mkfreeberg said...

    I'm not on the market anymore, but if I was I'd have to take issue with your advice. Women who have that "monumental chip" on their shoulders tend to keep it right there forever, and once counseled to tone it down, can manage to do nothing more than simply hide it.

    Also, I've noticed there are some highly dangerous women out there who have managed to convince themselves they don't hate men, when they in fact do. They're far more dangerous than the women who hate men and are willing to admit it.

    No, today's single fella is best served by making the clues easy to spot, so he can spend a minimum of time on the Sex In The City wannabe women and leapfrog over to the well-put-together stable sweethearts like you and Dr. Mel. Nowadays we have to filter out something like 98 or 99 percent to get there. But it's well worth it to go ahead and filter them out. This I know. I did it.

    That's a great list. Most of the points are good for the ganders too.