Appealing to the left-wing blogosphere

Frank J. of IMAO has some great tips to get on the good side with the nutroots:

OUT: Pride in this country.
IN: Apologizing effusively to the rest of the world for America's very existence.

OUT: A gruff demeanor that exudes authority.
IN: Silky hair and a winning smile.

OUT: Respect for the military.
IN: Making sure those brainwashed, kill-bots don't turn on the public.

OUT: Soaking ourselves in the blood of our enemies.
IN: Pretty red ribbons.

OUT: Death for Islamic extremists.
IN: Hugs for Islamic extremists.

OUT: Fighting real problem like Islamic extremism and nuclear weapons.
IN: Fighting made up problems like global warming or any other threat that can be fought through recycling instead of bullets.

OUT: Testicles.
IN: Rainbows.

There's more, and it is hilarious. Read the whole thing over at Right Wing News.