You see so many worrying about hair gel and exfoliators and moisturizing and waxing... isn't that supposed to be our department? Our meaning women? I mean, I get keeping yourself clean and looking nice, but come on. It's not unusual to find men who take longer to get ready than I do, and that's an automatic strike against you. God help you if I were to find out you spent more money than I do on "health and beauty" supplies.
Enter Mitt Romney.
Everyone knows how much of a pretty boy he is anyways -- Ben Affleck hypocritically called him a Ken doll -- but good Lord. I think he's trying to catch up to John Edwards:
What kinds of things do you think of when you hear "communications consulting"?
Speechwriting? Message strategy?
Well, "communications consulting" is how presidential candidate Mitt Romney recorded $300 in payments to a California company that describes itself as "a mobile beauty team for hair, makeup and men's grooming and spa services."
Romney spokesman Kevin Madden confirmed that the payments -- actually two separate $150 charges -- were for makeup, though he said the former Massachusetts governor had only one session with Hidden Beauty of West Hills, Calif. That was before the May 3 Republican presidential debate at the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, Calif., co-sponsored by MSNBC and The Politico.
"We used them once but booked time twice and still had to render payment for the appointment time," said Madden, who said the disbursement was listed as "communications consulting" because it was paid from the communications division's budget.
Politicians often wear makeup for photo and video shoots. Federal campaigns, on at least 26 different occasions since 2002, reported paying for haircuts and other primping -- services totaling $7,443, according to an analysis by The Politico of Federal Election Commission data. And Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards refunded $800 his campaign shelled out for two haircuts after he was criticized for them.
But Stacy Andrews, who made up Romney for Hidden Beauty, said he barely needs makeup.
"He's already tan," she said. "We basically put a drop of foundation on him … and we powdered him a little bit."
All right. I get if you're going to be on national television, you need to look good and wear a little makeup. But $300? $300?! For a little drop of foundation and some powder?
I think I spend 1/6 of that on my total beauty "budget", if you can even call it that. I never throw shampoo and conditioner bottles away, so I practically have the shampoo aisle from Walgreens in the closet in my bathroom, albeit with assorted half-empty bottles. You can get foundation and powder for $5 a pop, and I promise you it is just as good as the high-end stuff. It's not that I wouldn't ever use the high-end stuff, but I buy it sparingly and use it sparingly (as in, only for special occasions) so it lasts a while. I don't bust out the Sephora products to go to Winn-Dixie. There are so much more important things I can be spending my money on than make-up!
Now, don't get me wrong, I doubt most women are as stingy as I am when it comes to make-up and hair care and that kind of thing. But I doubt most women spend anywhere near $300 on make-up in an entire year, much less in one sitting. And to hear a man is spending that much money for a bit of foundation and some powder? Couldn't his wife have just done it for him? I mean, honestly.
God help him if he ever has to go to the Middle East as President. His make-up might get smudged!
Seriously, folks. Do you want someone in office so concerned about make-up that they spend $300 in a single sitting?
Maybe John Edwards and Mitt Romney could run on a ticket together. The Breck Girl and the Ken Doll... a victory for pretty boys everywhere!
Ben Affleck, Meet the Kettle