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Monday, June 25, 2007

Help My Baby Live?

I checked my MySpace today, and a friend of mine had posted a bulletin about this website, Help My Baby Live, expressing disgust. Naturally curiosity overtook me, and I checked it out.

Basically, the concept is this. A couple got pregnant, does not want to abort, but is not financially stable enough to raise a child. They also do not want to give up the baby for adoption, because it would be "too hard" after giving birth. So they are asking for donations -- $50,000 to be exact -- to keep their baby, because they want to be "financially stable" (and a 50k lump sum will do just that!). If not, they will abort and "donate the money to charity".

Here is the "About Us" section to "explain":

As happens to many young couples, my girlfriend and I have found ourselves confronted with a decision to make about having a child, and we're not sure what to do. There are many options available to us, and a difficult evaluation of the responsibilities and obligations, as well as the joys, that come with raising a child.

Our two real options are either having and raising the child, or aborting. While we'd like to think that adoption is a viable option for us, my girlfriend doesn't believe that she'd be able to give up a child after giving birth to it, and that's not something I'm going to pressure us into doing. We also don't want to be subconsciously resentful of a child that we kept when we weren't ready for it. If we're not ready to raise it, we're not going to bring a baby into the world.

Because of the state we're in, we have about three months to make a decision one way or the other. Right now, we're leaning toward abortion. We're simply not financially secure enough to ensure that we can bring up a kid in the environment it would deserve. It's not that we're poor, we just don't have the stability that we think having a baby necessitates.

Please don't mis-understand, it's not that we _want_ to abort the baby. Although neither of us is particularly pro-life, we don't want to have to have an abortion. We think we'd be pretty good parents, and we both would enjoy raising a kid. We're both from pretty good stock, well educated and intelligent. We'd be able to raise the child in a good environment, teach it right, keep it out of trouble, and introduce a new productive member of humanity to the world. Our kid won't grow up and rob you.

Right now, we just can't afford it, which is why we're here, on this site. We've crunched some numbers, and we believe that, to really set ourselves up in a good environemnt for the baby, we need $50,000. That'll give us the down payment on a decent house, get us a car that runs reliably, allow us to save away a little for the baby's college fund, cover any medical bills (she's uninsured), and give us a little buffer while she's not working.

Here is why they "need" $50,000:

It comes down to this. If we can't raise the $50,000 in the next 3 months, we'll have to choose abortion. We don't like it, and we don't like the nature of our appeal, but it is what it is. We're asking you to donate money to us using the link to your left. Anything you can give would be appreciated.

Understand that you are giving the money to us, with no obligation on our part. We want to remain anonymous, for our sake and for that of our child, if we have one. We don't think it'd be right for anyone to know that their existance depended upon a fiscal calculation, regardless of the rationality of that decision. We're not going to contact you, we're not going to post pictures, we're not going to give you status updates. After three months, our decision will be made, and this site will go away.

We're not a non-profit, we're going to pay taxes on anything that's given to us. You can't write off anything you give us on your taxes. We're not a registered corporation or organization. We're just two people.

Please do not attempt to contact us. We have registered and hosted this site through a company that allows for anonymity in that proces, and are having them handle our donations as well. They will not tell you our names, because they don't know them. They don't know how to contact us. When the time's up, we'll get ahold of them and tell them how to get us the money.

We appreciate your time, and hope that you'll be able to give something. We know this isn't exactly tasteful, but that doesn't change our situation.

They also have a sort of FAQ section:

Thanks for all your supportive emails. The non-supportive ones, well, they're entitled to their opinion.
We've been asked the same questions by many people. I'll answer them here, to minimize confusion.

What happens to the money if you end up aborting? - If we have an abortion, we will donate 100% of the money we receive to a national, recognized, legit charity dedicated to helping people in our situation out. Probably a pro-life group.

Why didn't you just use birth control? - We do.

You're disgusting! How dare you place a monetary value on the life of a child! - Don't be absurd. The question of finances is always a decision when confronted with the choice of having a child. And for you pro-choice people out there, many of your arguments for abortion deal with the financial consequences of raising a child. So don't look down your nose at us because we're up front about it.

You don't need $50,000/house/car to raise a baby! - No, you're right. We don't need it to raise a baby. But it's still a precondition to the kind of life that we think is necessary to raising a healthy, well-balanced child, and we're not going to give birth until we've reached that level of security. You may disagree with our reasoning, but there it is.

Your child will be damaged from this! - No it won't, becaue we would never tell a.) anyone, b.) the child specificially. Thats why we want to remain anonymous.

Best part of all is the terms and conditions section:

  • You are _giving_ us money, with no expectation of getting anything in return, ever. We are not obligated to do, or refrain from, anything as a result of your or anyone else's donation.
  • You do not, and will never, know who we are. You agree not to try to find out who we are. You agree not to contact InvisiHosting about our site. You agree that knowing our identitiy is not a condition of your gift. You agree to not disclose any information about us to any other party.
  • This is not a non-profit. You don't get to write this off on your taxes, and we have to pay taxes on any gifts you give us.
  • You agree to pay only through PayPal and only to the account of InvisiHosting, LLC, who will then transfer the money to us at the end of three months.
  • You agree not to hold InvisiHosting, LLC liable for any actions on our part. You agree that they are not responsible for any dissatisfaction that you may experience as a result of donating to us.
  • You agree to forfeit $25,000 per violation of these terms.

  • Hmm.

    Well, my first instinct was that it was some sort of a fake or a hoax. I googled the site, which only brought up a few forums discussing the website speculating that it originates out of Austin, Texas based on IP addresses. I also checked Snopes, but a quick search of the site brought up nothing.

    That said, there's multiple problems at work here.

    First of all, why do you need a $50,000 lump sum to raise a baby? You don't. People raise children in less than perfect circumstances that grow up to be responsible, intelligent, good, decent human beings all the time. If you aren't poor, like you say, then you'll be fine. I understand it isn't perfect, but you can work through it -- if you really want to.

    And isn't that the biggest question? They practically say it themselves. It's not whether they can or cannot, it's whether they will or will not. They say themselves in the little FAQ section that they don't need the $50k, but it sure would be nice, and otherwise, bye bye baby.

    Well gee, I would like $50k as well, as well as a nicer car, a big house, a brand new wardrobe, and to never have to work again. Who wants to donate money for that??

    I mean, come on. You made a choice to have premarital sex when you are not financially ready for a baby, and a baby is a possible consequence anytime you have sex. I'm not getting preachy here -- my point is simply that if you are going to have sex, you have to be willing to accept the fact that there is a possibility of ending up pregnant, no matter how careful you are. And now, you're asking for other people to pay up for your poor planning?

    Jesus. Hillary would probably be proud.

    The other dilemma here is validity. How is anyone supposed to know where the money is actually going? How does anyone know they aren't just going to go use it on crack, or a vacation to France, or who the hell knows what? They are anonymous and are giving no evidence besides words on a website that it will actually go to the well-being of their child or a charity, if they abort. I mean, a down payment on a house and a car that runs reliably? And they flat-out say that they aren't going to offer any proof. Take them at their word.

    Right now, according to the website, they have received $10,200 with 82 days left. And if all of this is 100% accurate, and they aren't lying about anything, then in 82 days they very possibly will be destroying a life. Because a mere $10k in the bank won't be enough to help you raise a baby?

    I mean, really. This is just wrong on so many levels.

    I hope national media picks this up and these people are found out. The cowards -- on multiple levels, too -- should be willing to show their faces for the scumbags they are.


    Don_cos said...

    This is just plain sick.

    Anonymous said...

    Cassy is showing nothing but pure hedinistic selfishness and shows no true motherly care for her child. Let me tell you your primise is absolutely wrong. Lets go back 39 years. Its 1969. These kids were in college during Watergate and Vietnam. As college kids, they had barely $400 to their name when they learned of the "unplanned pregnancy." According to Cassy's theory this child was destined to be a blight on society. The fact is this child was born with a club foot making things even worse. But guess what, some way this couple made it. Sure there were peanut butter sandwich days and wearing old clothes, but they made it through the next few years. This child that would have been such a problem for Cassy played football in high school went to University of Nebraska where he obtained multiple Masters, a PH.D. and M.D. and today is a facial cranial surgeon who recently graduated his residency at Brown University in Rhode Island as one of only two doctors who qualified for that residency program out of a group of over 300 doctors. Over the years, this distitute couple raised three children, purchased and paid for in full three homes and 62 acres of land in East Texas. Today, the couple is about to celebrate their 40th anniversary. They are grandparents to four grandsons, no t one that was 'planned' or came when the parent had their financial 'ducks in a row.' Your primise of if people don't give you $50,000 is appalling. You are truly sick with an entitlement mentality that suggests you are have no faith in anything other than the dollar. Let me suggest that your figures are all wrong. Try $100,000 or more for the kid. But thats over his 18 years and shows up as meals, jeans, gameboys, DVDs, soccer or baseball and then a car and then books and tuition.

    That couple survived not only the birth of that child but today at 60 years old have adopted one of their grandchildren

    Cassy needs to understand she is a mother right now and start acting like one. Try trusting God with your future instead of crunching numbers on your computer. After all, if you do the math, your baby is a one in one billion statistical miracle.

    I am the father of that surgeon. I know what it is to face the uncertainties of life. But I was wise enough to know that at 20 years old I didn't know it all. I realized I needed help but the help I chose was to ask God's help. I learned in later years, that according to the Bible only God can open the womb of a woman. Science shows us we can put the ovum and sperm together but no man can make the ovum window open to receive the sperm. That is a divine moment. With one billion sperm released in a typical male ejaculation, literally when that window opens and conception occurs, it is a 1 in 1 billion possibility.

    I urge Cassy to grow up and get real about her baby instead of her finances. If you don't want to abort and then abort because you don't think you have the money it takes right now will leave you very likely broken by the abortion.

    I know because for 22 years I have helped over 25,000 women like Cassy who had made their choice and then discovered the nightmares and emotional problems that follow.

    Cassy if you were my daughter I would say to you the very thing I said to each of my daughers.

    "You can make it! With God's help you can make it! Honor God with your choice and He will honor you the rest of your life."


    Gredd said...

    That's really nice Ken, now go back and read the first paragraph of Cassy's post. I think you'll see where I'm going with this.

    As for the topic, just when you think you've seen it all, someone comes along and blows your mind. Sad. And it doesn't help that people enable this attitude.

    Anonymous said...

    My eyes, my eyes!


    Anonymous said...

    oops that was supposed to be on the comment section for the boob jobs. Nevemind.


    Don_cos said...

    Hey Ken

    I agree that raising your child was the right thing to do. And you should be proud.

    Now that said, why don't you take the time to read Cassy's remarks before sticking your foot in your mouth? This money grab is not from Cassy. She has not ransomed her own child, she has written an article about some sickos who have.

    Remember, always engage your brain before ranting.

    Anonymous said...

    I hope she aborts on a live video feed so we can watch. It will be awesome!