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Thursday, June 7, 2007

Kissing for Women 101

Yesterday, I published a post called Kissing for Men 101. I'm following that up now with this post, with tips all for women.

Since I don't have much experience kissing women, I had to enlist the help of my male friends. In all honesty, I had no idea what to expect. Would the complaints be the same? Would there be more or less of them?

Some were surprisingly similar, and some were just... strange (sorry, guys!). Here are some of the responses I received:

  • My biggest thing is when a girl will try to suck her lips in like they are supposed to disappear or something.
  • Pushing in too much with her nose. It should be a pefect fit: resting, not digging, into my face.
  • Girls who refuse to kiss without sticking their tongue down my throat.... more prevalent with unexperienced kissers.
  • I'm not a fan of sloppy kissing where her mouth is beyond the outer edge of my mouth.
  • I think that there has to be that communication and experimentation until a couple reaches the point where they both can be happy with a kiss.
  • I've had some people that slobber all over you... that's kind of gross.
  • Some make a habit of pulling away, like as a tease. And it's cool every now and then, but all the time can be really annoying.
  • Bad oral hygiene.

    Interesting, indeed.

    So we've established that slobbering all over your date is something that no one enjoys. Why, then, are there people that still do this?? It must be one of life's unsolvable mysteries. The tongue down the throat is something most people dislike as well. All together, it seems like sloppy kissing is a no-no, for both the men and the women.

    Guys, however, mentioned much more often than the women did that there had to be some experimentation going on. They often brought up how they would want to test the waters with a girl, see what each liked, and come up with a kind of personalized kissing method based on her preferences and style. Several of my male friends mentioned that, whereas not one of my girlfriends did.

    It seems to be a big misconception, then, that men are less giving in the "intimacy" department, at least when it comes to kissing, anyways. As I said, not one girl mentioned tailoring her approach to the guy she was with. The men were also far less likely to complain. It was like pulling teeth to get them to even name something negative. They were more than willing to talk about their positive experiences. Most of them really had to rack their brains to think of a bad kisser.

    So does this mean women are just more talented, whereas men are more giving? It seems to look that way. But you'll probably be safe avoiding too much tongue and slobber either way you go.

    Rob said...

    I would like to note. From looking at both perspectives as Cassy noted, there are many common dislikes and likes. The question I raise is, why aren't we communicating that to each other?

    How important is communication when someone can, and I'm sure this happens, throw away someone because of a simple dislike of how he/she kisses--all we have to do is clearly communicate.

    Don_cos said...

    "So does this mean women are just more talented, whereas men are more giving? ~ Cassy"

    Maybe this means that we truly do complement each other and that we all need to find that person who is "the correct fit!"

    PS> Thanks for covering the other side.

    COPioneer said...

    what Rob says was my thought. Surely if two people love each other they will be able to share their deepest thoughts, rather than running off to their friends. And it depends on where that kissing is "supposed" to lead. Who initiated it? Are we lovers? Are we on a first date? Are we married!? Is it the first time we've been away from the kids in a month!?

    Diego said...

    It seems as though women are more likely to expect the guy to be a great kisser from go (and willing to move on to the next guy if he falls short), whereas guys expect that there may be some initial kissing awkwardness until the couple adjusts to each others kissing styles and develops a mutually enjoyable kiss.

    On a personal note, I had a first kiss with one woman I dated where she kissed too fast... lots of furious action with her mouth... and I didn't enjoy it very much. But by our third date she slowed down and we very much enjoyed making out. I guess I'm just one of the guys...